I hate the Badgers more than blisters on my feet and public bathrooms. They make my stomach turn. I mean Madison is a nice town, but it has stupid cows everywhere, no strip bars and I've always had a hard time getting something to eat at 3 in the morning. But the Onion started there and it's fun to get drunk there. But the Badger fans and the team are assholes. For whatever reason, they are extremely cocky. I've heard people call Minnesota East Wisconsin in terms of college football recruiting. Which is fine, except for kids in Minnesota generally don't play football. They play hockey.
The games have been close recently, but it has made watching them excruciating. Watching the Gophers punter drop the ball and flail around haplessly in 2005 was the worst sports memories of my life. It felt like drinking a shot of Bailey's to chase a shot of Jose Quervo. I just wanted to vomit. But sports are about hoping for something different and I'll always remain hopeful. So Badger fans go eat some cheese, choke on a brat and try and remember the good old days when Brett Favre was your QB because the AXE is going east this year!
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